Where does it say that I, as a parent, am obligated to leave money to my children?  When I left home, my first month’s rent was paid and I was on my own.  In a sparsely furnished apartment in a strange town, with no job at the tender age of 19.  Who knows.  I may have been emotionally scarred from this start in life.

Should I feel guilty for not wanting to leave money to my children?  Will they make me feel guilty?  I hope not.  All of my children are hard workers and I am very proud of them.  They all should deserve something.  I should have deserved something – at least that was my reasoning.  I was the oldest.  I set the pace for my two younger sisters, though I do admit not in the most admirable way during my turbulent teen years.  Youth most definitely is wasted on youth.  I would give anything to turn back the clock with the knowledge I now possess, at least to the age of 40. 

As a private service provider, I have learned that the written word is most powerful and can be used much the same way oils are used by a painter.  A picture is written (painted) and if it can be done with just the right wording or colors, a masterpiece is in the offing.

I did succeed in that strange town, first working at a restaurant as a hostess, at a local TV station with advertising, than as a civil servant as an assistant to the adjutant general, as a homemaker (my best endeavor), as a court appointed special advocate (CASA) and for the last 12 years, as a medical records manager until the agency closed its doors, leaving 38 of us collecting unemployment.  I am now among the growing number of unemployed middle aged baby boomers with a big dream of creating a recession proof business and work presently in the marketing department as well as the VP.  Will I succeed?  I hope so.  Age bias is very much alive.  I am not kidding myself on that subject.

If I don’t – there is always a job as a Wal-Mart greeter.  Might I add…I would make a mighty fine greeter.  Do I want to work at Wal-Mart?  Their reputation is really not that pristine and I have worked too hard to establish  my learned reputation. 

Of course, it can always be readjusted.  Hopefully for the good.  At least I am going to enjoy trying to reach the next life’s goal.  And I just might do that spending my children’s inheritance.